Miracles & Angels

Yes, miracles of the kind we read about in the bible do still happen today! The lame are made to walk, the blind to see. 

I've been a Christian for most of my adult life. I'm fifty now. It's sad to say, but for most of that time I've been a "Sunday morning Christian, " with my mind fixed on God very little outside of the church buildings. I'm ashamed now to say that I was also a pretty grudging and stingy giver. I did NOT trust God with my finances, thinking to myself, "Well, God knows I have all these expenses, and He just wants me to take care of them responsibly. I'll give him more later when I have more." Whenever I heard a message about tithing, I'd get a knot in my throat, and feel a combination of guilt and anger toward the speaker (always someone more well off than I was) who was laying out their own self-serving interpretation of giving in the bible, and telling me how to handle my financial business. I told myself I was a good enough Christian by going to church most Sundays, teaching my children about God, and participating in church groups and activities.

Nope, I was not all in. Not by a long shot. The God in my head was big, but not REAL big. The God in my head stopped performing major miracles thousands of years ago, and was just biding His time until He sent Jesus back one day when nobody was predicting it or thinking about His return. And, being totally honest, I spent a lot of the time I was in church coveting the strong, living faith that others seemed to have, wondering why and where they got it from. For me, TRUE faith and trust didn't come early or easy. But it did come, in God's perfect timing, and in a way that I couldn't deny. This is the story of how my life got flipped upside down, and why it will never again be what it was.

I have witnessed many a miracle on televised ministry shows, and have to say I'm pretty skeptical of many, especially since I saw an undercover investigation proving that there are often "plants" in the audience, who are not genuinely in need of a miracle, basically play acting. How awful a scheme for people claiming to be instruments of the Lord! At any rate, before my own miracle took place, I'd put myself among those who think astounding miracles such as are recorded in the bible just aren't the sort of thing we can expect in modern day. How wrong I was. My transforming journey began when, one Sunday morning, I was led to take my family to church at Winston-Salem First Assembly. We hadn't attended any church since we'd moved back to Winston-Salem from Raleigh over two years prior to that. We'd tell one another repeatedly that we needed to find a church, but depression had a stronghold on our family. We rarely ventured outside our house unless it was absolutely necessary.

I was diagnosed with scoliosis, both front to back and side to side. In addition, I have degenerated discs and vertebrae in my cervical and lumbar spine that have fused. In early 2010, the referred pain in my legs and my right arm was so severe, I was referred to a surgeon. This was after many months on strong pain killers, followed by weeks of physical therapy that failed to give any relief. The neurological specialist told me my last option was surgery. That was NOT what I wanted to hear, especially after seeing what a close friend has had to go through since her similar surgery was botched, and being told my recuperation period would include approximately four months in bed! But I agreed to the surgery, and had them schedule me a few weeks out, so that my teenagers could help tend to me once they were out for summer break.

The ensuing weeks were miserable, as my pain continued to get worse. I was still on pain pills, but might as well have been popping a baby aspirin. I went from walking VERY slowly with a cane to winding up in a wheel chair, my family members pushing me in the few places I'd go, church, the store, and doctor's office. By the way, at this time I'd already been on Social Security disability and not working for three years.

It's difficult to describe my pain. the best I can say is there was a constant throbbing in my legs and arm, combined with sudden, stabbing pain that would often make me scream out loud (SO embarrassing), and the worst part of the nerve involvement was a frequent sensation like I'd expect to feel if someone was pouring frigid water into my bones. I couldn't stand unaided for more than about five minutes.

With the surgery still far away, and needing relief, I saw a chiropractor a few times. He worked me with all sorts of techniques until he was quite red in the face, panting and sweating. I only felt better as long as it took me to walk from his treatment room to the front desk. After three visits, he said he didn't feel he could do more without risking doing damage. Of course, during this waiting period, my depression increased significantly. I began to tell myself I might have to go through the rest of my life in terrible pain, and I didn't see how I could possibly endure that. The pain was beginning to be the worst in my lower legs, and I entertained the idea of asking my doctors if I could have my lower legs amputated as a partial remedy. Yes, it was that bad!

Then, one morning, I woke up and reached for my bottles of pain pills and muscle relaxants, as usual. I heard a voice, not audible, but in my mind and very definitive, saying, "You don't need those today." I think I chuckled at that, and thought to myself that I'd go along with the plan, even though it seemed ridiculous. Then, I said out loud, "Okay, I'll just take a couple of Aleve tablets." The voice came again, kind, but firm, "No, not even that." By this time I was confused and freaking out a bit, wondering if my depression was progressing to the point of auditory hallucinations. But I slowly swung my legs to the side of the bed, and stood up as well as I could. I hobbled to my bedroom door, straightening my back little by little, so that I was fully upright by the time I got to the kitchen. That's the point at which the seemingly impossible happened.

I went about making breakfast for my kids, standing without assistance or need for a sit-down break every minute or two. My kids got up, came into the kitchen, and looked at me in astonishment. In a half scolding-half panicky tone, my son said, "MOM! Why are you up walking by yourself!?" I told him I didn't know why, but I was able to, not hurting, and was just going to see what I could do. For the rest of the day, I went about household chores, bending, stretching, carrying laundry baskets. The whole time I'm thinking, "I am still walking. Why am I still walking?? And what's up with this no pain thing??"

The easiest and most effective way to end my story is to say that was four months ago, and since that day I have not had one iota of pain! Not even the occasional, brief twinge! Within a week after that day I'd first gotten up and walked around, I was doing a mile around the indoor track at my neighborhood recreation center. I have jogged, and done everything I used to do four years ago. I volunteer at my church on a regular basis, and I had usually been doing tasks that left me in quite a bit of pain. Just this week, I took on a project of prepping binders for a seminar. It involved moving 60 fairly large boxes of them from place to place five times over. Not one bit of trouble, and no pain the next day, or the next.

As I sit writing this, I can tell you that ONLY God could have healed me so completely and in an instant! I'm been on fire for the Lord ever since, studying for the ministry, witnessing everywhere I go, and have even had other "minor" miracles along the way, if there is such a thing. They've come at me like rapid fire, to the point where people began asking me to pray for them, as all my own prayers were getting answered routinely. I don't want it to sound as though I began regarding God like a genie in a bottle; on the contrary, I've taken these answered prayers as a confirmation from God, as if He's saying, "Yes, it's Me. I'm performing these miracles for you, because I want you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm the one responsible, that none of this is by coincidence, a streak of luck, or a fluke. I'm here, and I'm the lord of lords, more real than you ever imagined. I love you. I know your name. And, yes, I'm approving of the kingdom work you're beginning to do for me. This is the plan I had for you all these years you've been feeling like a failure, not living up to your potential. This is the reason for the deaths, the pain, and the hard times. I had to give you a story. Now, go, and tell it!"

I have felt the presence of the Lord SO strongly. I know His voice, directing me in everything I do. The angels He's set to guard me often whisper instructions and advice in my ear when I'm confused or about to make a wrong turn. Yes, the Lord is my shepherd. I will go wherever He tells me to go, and do whatever He tells me to do. Every cent that comes to me is his, and I give more generously and freely than I ever have without a thought as to how I can afford it; yet, I want for NOTHING. I am so free! And I know there's nothing that could ever take me from my Father's hand.

UPDATE: It's been quite a while since I wrote this article. I'm pleased to report that, praise God, I've continued to be pain free and fully mobile for over a year now!


  1. I am almost 50 also and have known Gods gifts but am an alchoholic and often suicidal. I saw you on in session face book. I have failed my God. He gave me the gift of discernment and it does not now nor has it ever felt like a gift. I tried so hard to find knowledge but just got rejection. I feel like I am dying. I think I will be dead soon if I can not stop drinking and smoking and it will be such a shame since I do know Gods word a lot and could be a good servant if I could stop harming myself. I was raised in a legalistic religion and suffered a lot. I always knew that I was taught wrong but yet didn't know. I knew at a subconcious level. I came back to God but failed the test again and I am so sick. Sometimes I know when people are demon posessed but no one believes me but that does not matter b/c I know it's true but know I am dying b/c I can not stop drinking and smoking and it is such a shame b/c deep inside of me I want to be a good servant but I am not. My depression is so bad that I don't know if I will live much longer and Oh God I'm so sorry!

  2. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing so openly. I really believe such willingness to be transparent before God and other believers is a HUGE and important step toward healing. And you've done that. We all cry out. We all feel unworthy at times, and sometimes we feel completely worthless. Believe it or not, I've suffered from major clinical depression for over ten years nonstop. As I write this, I'm pouring out my daily brunch of pills, three different antidepressants and a sedative I'm slowly weaning off of. I've been on disability for six years, and also struggle with chronic fatigue, hypertension, and thyroid disease (my latest and best diagnosis). Even more pills for those maladies. I need to post more of my daily struggles on here, I see, because I need my readers to know all is not usually sunny here in my life, and I've been slow to learn what works and what doesn't. I've often felt like I'm doing at the half-century mark what I should have been doing two decades ago. But since I'm a late bloomer, I figure I'd better pull it together and get going!

    Lift your head up, my friend! You have not failed in the eyes of God. You are just learning, as we all are. And that's something we never stop doing. God is so in love with you! You're His favorite! Every one of us is. And we're all One, here to love and help one another grow. It's not a coincidence that our paths have crossed :) Your discerning nature has already revealed that to you. So, today is a GOOD day. I'm going to send you a couple of things that I think will make you feel even more encouraged. For now, I hope you'll keep this one thought in mind that God gave me just this morning as I woke up: We've all been given a reset button, and we can push it whenever and as often as we wish. And never let anyone else's inability to forgive and let go of the past stop you from receiving what God has for you this new day. BLESSINGS!!