God Willing

When I was in my teens, like most people, I couldn't make a whole lot of sense of God, at least not from what I'd been told and what I witnessed as the reality of the world around me. The two things seemed completely at odds. Getting to a place where I feel otherwise has been a very slow progression, until recently. Then, it just spun off in a new direction based on personal experiences and encounters with others who shared them.

To anyone who doesn't feel a connection, I'd say it's not something that can be forced. There's a bible verse, John 6:44, I believe, that I don't fully understand, but it's food for thought. Basically, it says one can't "find" God. God has to initiate the process, and at the appointed time. I think a person has to be at a point in their life where they're ready to receive God. If you're not feeling drawn, you're not ready, and most of what you hear God believers say will seem a bit hollow. It's not a matter of God playing favorites; rather, it's a respect on God's part of the free will He's given to every single one of us. He'll never force dependence on Him. If we want to go our own way, He's going to let us. If we need to explore other ways of being in the world, or want to feel self made/improved, He'll let us. But if we find ourselves at the end of a dark and lonely road, everything having failed us, and even if we're on our death beds, He's there.

I used to feel incredibly distressed about people I cared for not knowing God in a personal and intimate way, not being able to experience what I and others do in the now. But I now understand that there's no set schedule or deadline for a soul to make it to any destination. There's only growth. And time is only something God's given us in this earthly realm to provide a backdrop for the organization that's required for us to live together here as we learn. Life on earth is nothing but a school of lower learning. JMO