Jan 10, 2011

A Thought For Today

Being "religious" should never be a goal. Life's about ever growing into the god part of yourself, and whatever gets you there is good in God's sight. Whatever impedes or discourages you is NOT good in His sight. If you find yourself in a dead church out of tradition or habit, if you're participating in led rituals you could do in your sleep, or if you're just BORED and sleep, get up! Go somewhere else! God is not dead! - LJB
To say that I've experienced a spiritual awakening or revival over the past two years would be understating an understatement. It's been one that's gained momentum, and has reached a place where it's difficult to consider the mundane matters of life. My hope is that getting some of these thoughts out of my head, and putting them in writing, is a good way to ensure that I at least bathe, tidy up my house, and keep us all fed and where we're supposed to be at any given time. I've always believed that God exists. To believe otherwise makes absolutely no sense to me, and the rationalizations of people much more intellectually developed than myself has never been able to alter that. I've found those sorts of thoughts and ruminations to be either the height of arrogance, a manifestation of intense fear, or both. Maybe for some it's just a matter of being "unexperienced."
Up until a couple of years ago, God has seemed distant and a bit fuzzy. In my head, there was this image of a large entity in a blue sky, with his head obscured by clouds. He had on a white robe, and was sitting on a throne of some sort, and there was an outer gate. It was actually little more than what I might have drawn as a young child who'd been told a little about God and heaven. And it wasn't even that big a place, more of a village floating in the sky. Totally unrealistic, I knew, but I had no better reference.  I could list God's attributes, but didn't have the sense of an intensely personal relationship with Him, nor did I think it was possible for any human being to be that close to a holy God, until they were dead. But I can say today that the Lord is greater, more powerful, more loving, and more fully present with me than I can describe with my earthly vocabulary. And His angels are always near me, helping to carry out His will in my life. Even as I write this, there are God thoughts pouring out from my hands that amaze me.
Many things have contributed to this transformation I'm witnessing in my life.  None is more important than the other. They're all miraculous, and it's the cumulative effect that makes it overwhelming. I find myself asking, "Why is God performing so many unexplainable acts in MY life? Why isn't He spreading it around a little more, when there are so many people around me who need confirmation just as much?" But I also know it's not my place to question God work, except to ask Him to help me understand what this work in me is about, and where it's heading. I know I have to accept that He'll reveal to me as much as I need to know at the proper time, and for now my primary role is learning to recognize His leading and His voice. I have to say, it does get easier by the day. He places people, opposing thoughts, and situations in my path that demand a response from me in one way or another. He's training me to act and react in love, creating ripples, with me as a willing (but rather leaky) conduit.

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